Please, do not tell me how to feel when my pain is inflamed.

When I sit down and write to advocate for my illnesses, I feel this pressure that I always need to be positive. That if I’m not, if I do not see the positive things I can still do, well, I’m not grateful or positive enough.

That is the power of stigma. And let me tell you, I’m tired of that.

I was not diagnosed with lupus, fibromyalgia, Raynaud’s disease or Sjogren’s syndrome until I was 28. But for years I had medical problems, without knowing or understanding why. I can not say that having answers or diagnoses has made it easier. I feel that some days worsened things.

You would think that having an answer means having a treatment, treatment improves it, appointments with the doctor end, life finally advances. As someone who also has a post-traumatic stress disorder, I unfortunately learned better once I was diagnosed.

That is not the case with autoimmune disorders. I am stuck in this body that one day, or for a prolonged period of time, cooperates, and then for a month or so it does not do anything for which I need it. Disappoint me. Test my patience. It pushes me into a hole I can not get out of. And many times, that hole is very dark.

After my diagnosis, I regretted the person I used to be. I still do it. It’s even harder to accept the life you need to adapt when you’re in an outbreak. The buds are vicious for me. I will never be able to explain the pain that runs through my body every day.

Currently I can not eat solid foods, and I have been on a liquid diet for more than a month. I’ve been trying to keep up with going to the gym, because if I do not, the pain in the joints is even worse, but even when I’m there I feel like I can not do anything. I can not sleep because I lie on the bed and complain about the pain. I cry because I’m alone.

I’m so tired that you can not explain it to anyone. My Methotrexate, which I take twice a week, is making me sick more than usual. I do not know why. I started missing work because of that. And that means that I am disappointing people.

My body disappoints me. In turn, disappoints everyone else. In the end, there are days when I lie in bed and I can not imagine continuing like this.

I have incurable and painful illnesses, in which the treatments are less than ideal and are limited. I’ve lost friends because I’m “too much”. I am no longer the friend of the people I want to be. My life is sometimes overtaken by medical appointments and medical bills.

I feel that when people ask me what is happening to me, they do not want to hear what it really is. They already know that I am chronically ill. I’ll be like this forever. So, why talk about that? I feel annoyed with others because the truth is that I feel overwhelming.

I never asked to have a smile every day, go to work, try as hard as possible because I have to make sure I keep my job because I know I’m going to waste my time. If it does not seem like I’m worth it to my colleagues and supervisors, I’m so afraid of being released.

I never asked to feel pain every day. I never asked for diagnostic tests of fear, feeling like I was expecting bad news every six months that I walked in my local diagnostic center. I never asked that my appearance change so drastically that sometimes looking in the mirror makes me want to crush it. I can not stand the person looking at me because my hair that I lost because of the treatment that is growing is not my hair, and yet I can not get anyone to really understand how horrible it feels.

But everyone wants it to be positive. Because apparently I’m going to “feel better”.

There is no better There is flare, and there is no burning. And people need to understand the emotions we feel when we turn on. Having pain every day does something for you. He eats you and tests you so you did not think you could be tested.4 And I’m angry because I did not ask for it.

I did not ask to be sad about my bodies, not only to feel constantly disappointed by them, but also because of people’s reactions to him. Sometimes, I get angry. Sometimes, I get sad.

I ask people to please not feel that they can dictate how I feel or how I react to my flare because they do not understand what I feel inside my own body. They may not understand the depression that accompanies friends who lose and, ultimately, feel that they were lost because of the disease.

Today, and this month, I am burning. And finally, I’m in mourning. People will simply have to be fine with that, because sometimes things are bad.

We, as a society, must stop going through negative moments to fill them with false, falsely positive quotes, full of sweet and sugary, motivated by the candy that makes you feel better too.

119 thoughts on “Please, do not tell me how to feel when my pain is inflamed.

  1. Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your
    situation; many of us have created some nice methods and we are looking to
    swap strategies with other folks, please shoot
    me an e-mail if interested.

  2. Hi! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to look it over.

    I’m definitely loving the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this
    to my followers! Wonderful blog and great design and style.

  3. Hello! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to give it a look.
    I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers!
    Wonderful blog and superb design and style.

  4. Admiring the time and energy you put into your website and in depth information you offer.

    It’s great to come across a blog every once in a while
    that isn’t the same outdated rehashed information.
    Wonderful read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your
    RSS feeds to my Google account.

  5. Great article! This is the type of info that are supposed to
    be shared across the internet. Disgrace on Google for now
    not positioning this post upper! Come on over and talk over with my web
    site . Thank you =)

  6. Wonderful goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you’re just too great.
    I really like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like
    what you’re stating and the way in which you say it.
    You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it sensible.

    I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is really a tremendous website.

  7. Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask.
    Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa?
    My site goes over a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other.
    If you might be interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Superb blog by the way!

  8. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which
    I think I would never understand. It seems too
    complicated and very broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post,
    I will try to get the hang of it!

  9. I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high quality articles or
    weblog posts on this sort of space . Exploring in Yahoo
    I finally stumbled upon this site. Reading this information So i’m satisfied to show that I have a very good uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed.
    I so much for sure will make certain to do not omit this site
    and give it a glance on a relentless basis.

  10. Thanks a lot for sharing this with all folks you really know what you’re speaking
    about! Bookmarked. Please additionally visit my site =).
    We may have a link change agreement among us

  11. After I originally commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment.
    There has to be an easy method you are able
    to remove me from that service? Thank you!

  12. I am really impressed along with your writing abilities as well as with
    the format for your blog. Is that this a paid theme
    or did you modify it your self? Either way stay up the nice high quality writing, it’s uncommon to peer a nice weblog like this
    one today..

  13. I just like the helpful info you provide for your
    articles. I will bookmark your blog and check again here regularly.
    I am quite certain I’ll learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the following!

  14. Do you mind if I quote a couple of your articles as long as
    I provide credit and sources back to your
    website? My website is in the exact same niche as yours and my visitors would truly benefit from some of
    the information you present here. Please let me know if this okay with you.
    Appreciate it!

  15. Hmm is anyone eelse experiencing рroblems wіtһ the images οn this
    blog loading? Ι’m trying tߋ figure oսt if its a prⲟblem on my end or if it’s the blog.

    Any feeddback ԝould bе greаtly appreciated.

  16. Greetings from Los angeles! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to
    check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break.
    I enjoy the information you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.
    I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my mobile ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, fantastic site!

  17. Someone necessarily lend a hand to make severely articles I
    might state. That is the very first time I frequented your web
    page and so far? I surprised with the analysis you made to create this actual publish extraordinary.
    Wonderful task!

  18. Hello, i believe that i saw you visited my weblog so i got
    here to return the choose?.I’m attempting to in finding issues to improve my website!I assume its ok to use a few of your concepts!!

  19. I’m amazed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog that’s equally educative and entertaining, and without a doubt,
    you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is something that not
    enough men and women are speaking intelligently about.
    I am very happy that I found this during my hunt
    for something concerning this.

  20. Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before
    but after reading through some of the post I realized it’s new to
    me. Anyways, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back often!

  21. I’m impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog
    that’s equally educative and interesting, and let me
    tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is something which not enough folks are
    speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I stumbled across this in my hunt for something relating to this.

  22. Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it
    to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed.
    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off
    topic but I had to tell someone!

  23. My brother suggested I might like this website. He was totally right.
    This post actually made my day. You cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  24. Hi there, I discovered your web site via Google at the same time as looking for a
    comparable topic, your web site got here up, it seems to be great.
    I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Hi there, simply became alert to your weblog through Google, and located that it’s really informative.
    I am going to be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate for those
    who continue this in future. Many folks might be benefited from your writing.
    Cheers!

  25. Hi, I do believe this is an excellent website. I stumbledupon it 😉 I am going to
    come back yet again since I saved as a favorite it.
    Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.

  26. Whats up very cool site!! Man .. Beautiful ..
    Superb .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds also?
    I’m satisfied to seek out numerous useful info right here within the submit,
    we’d like develop more strategies on this
    regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

    Here is my page; CBD oil for anxiety

  27. Howdy very nice blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Superb ..
    I will bookmark your site and take the feeds also?
    I’m glad to find numerous useful info right here within the submit,
    we want develop extra strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing.

    . . . . .

    Feel free to visit my blog – CBD oil for anxiety

  28. I think the admin of this web page is genuinely working hard for his site, for the reason that here every
    information is quality based data.

    my blog post: CBD

  29. Valuable info. Fortunate me I found your website by accident, and I’m stunned why this
    accident didn’t took place in advance! I bookmarked it.

  30. If some one needs to be updated with latest technologies after that he must be pay a visit this web site and be up
    to date every day.

  31. I’ll straight away snatch your rss when i can’t find your email subscription link or newsletter service.
    Do you’ve any? Please permit me recognize as a way that I could subscribe.
    Thanks.

    Here is my page … JohnnyJYoust

  32. Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I to find It truly useful & it helped me out much.
    I am hoping to present one thing back and aid others
    like you aided me.

  33. We have been a group of volunteers and opening a whole
    new scheme within our community. Your internet site offered us with
    valuable information to operate on. You’ve done a formidable job and our
    whole community is going to be grateful to you personally.

    Also visit my web page MelvinaDView

  34. Hi! I understand this is somewhat off topic nevertheless i was wondering should you knew where
    I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m utilizing the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding one?
    Thanks a whole lot!

    Here is my site: IssacZKesich

  35. Wonderful goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely magnificent.
    I really like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you’re
    saying and the way in which you say it. You make it
    entertaining and you still take care of to keep it
    wise. I can’t wait to read much more from you.
    This is really a tremendous web site.

  36. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted
    to say that I’ve really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
    In any case I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope
    you write again very soon!

  37. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and
    wished to say that I have truly enjoyed surfing
    around your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your
    feed and I hope you write again soon!

  38. Simply desire to say your article is as astonishing.
    The clarity for your put up is just spectacular and
    i could assume you’re an expert in this subject.
    Well together with your permission let me to take hold of your RSS feed to keep up to date with imminent post.
    Thanks a million and please keep up the enjoyable work.

  39. I take pleasure in, result in I found exactly what I used to be having
    a look for. You’ve ended my four day long hunt!
    God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

  40. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my
    own blog and was curious what all is required to get setup?

    I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
    I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100% positive. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Kudos

  41. It’s awesome to visit this web site and reading the views of all
    friends about this piece of writing, while
    I am also zealous of getting experience.

  42. A fascinating discussion is worth comment.
    I believe that you ought to publish more about this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but typically people do not discuss
    such issues. To the next! Best wishes!!

  43. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It if truth be told used to be a leisure
    account it. Look complicated to more introduced agreeable from you!
    However, how could we keep in touch?

  44. Have you ever considered about including a little bit more than just your articles?

    I mean, what you say is valuable and everything.
    However imagine if you added some great photos or videos to give your posts
    more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with images and
    videos, this blog could definitely be one of the greatest
    in its niche. Very good blog!

  45. Excellent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your web
    site, how could i subscribe for a blog website? The account helped me a acceptable deal.
    I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear
    idea

  46. Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
    The text in your article seem to be running off
    the screen in Chrome. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or
    something to do with browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know.

    The design look great though! Hope you get the problem fixed soon. Kudos

  47. This is the perfect blog for everyone who really wants to find out
    about this topic. You realize so much its almost tough to argue with you (not that I actually would want to…HaHa).
    You certainly put a fresh spin on a subject which has
    been discussed for ages. Wonderful stuff, just wonderful!

  48. I’m curious to find out what blog platform you have been using?
    I’m experiencing some small security problems with my latest site and I would like to find something more secure.
    Do you have any solutions?

  49. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as
    long as I provide credit and sources back to your blog?
    My blog is in the very same niche as yours and my visitors would really benefit from a lot of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this alright with you.
    Thanks!

  50. After I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with
    the same comment. There has to be a way you are able to remove me from that service?
    Many thanks!

  51. Hello there! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know how
    to make your site mobile friendly? My website looks weird when viewing from my iphone.
    I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to correct this issue.
    If you have any recommendations, please share. Many thanks!

  52. First of all I would like to say wonderful blog!

    I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind.
    I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing.

    I’ve had a hard time clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out.
    I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like
    the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted simply just trying to figure out
    how to begin. Any ideas or hints? Kudos!

  53. Howdy I am so thrilled I found your website, I really
    found you by accident, while I was looking on Bing for something else, Nonetheless I am here
    now and would just like to say thanks for a incredible post and a
    all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through
    it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I
    will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the awesome work.

  54. I think this is one of the most vital information for me.
    And i’m glad reading your article. But want to remark on few general things,
    The site style is perfect, the articles is really nice :
    D. Good job, cheers

  55. Excellent post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and I am impressed!

    Very helpful information specifically the ultimate section 🙂 I
    care for such information a lot. I used to be looking for
    this certain info for a long time. Thanks and best of luck.

  56. Great goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff
    previous to and you are just extremely fantastic. I actually like
    what you’ve acquired here, really like what you are stating and the way in which you say it.
    You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it sensible.

    I can not wait to read much more from you. This is
    actually a great site.

  57. Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea
    shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said
    “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the
    shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally
    off topic but I had to tell someone!

  58. Hello every one, here every person is sharing these kinds of familiarity, thus it’s nice to read this web site, and I used to pay a quick visit this website everyday.

  59. I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your website?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it
    better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two images.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

  60. My brother suggested I might like this website.

    He was entirely right. This post truly made my day.
    You cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for this info!
    Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *