La douleur de fibromyalgie pour moi se sent comme si j’avais été battu par des lutins invisibles. Je l’ai décrit comme ça dans un autre article et je le répète encore. Je le décris comme ça parce que, bien qu’amusant, j’espère qu’il donne aux gens une phrase pour communiquer la nature aléatoire, irritante et agonisante de la douleur.
J’ai d’abord été douloureusement consciente de mon état quand je me suis réveillé en pleurant au milieu de la nuit parce que j’avais l’impression que quelqu’un m’avait battu. J’étais désorienté et j’ai touché mes bras et mes jambes provisoirement. Je me sentais meurtri mais je ne pouvais voir aucune ecchymose. J’ai regardé autour de mon dortoir en essayant de trouver un coupable, mais ma chambre était vide, sans signe de rupture. J’étais perplexe. La brusquerie de la douleur et la lourdeur de mes membres m’ont pris par surprise. Je me suis creusé la tête en essayant de me souvenir si j’avais porté quelque chose de lourd la veille ou si j’avais couru un marathon sans m’en souvenir. Non, c’était juste les premiers symptômes de ma fibromyalgie.
Je décris souvent l’intensité de la douleur comme étant constamment piquée avec des aiguilles, tout en étant simultanément frappée par un marteau dans les profondeurs de mon corps.
Il y a des moments où je pleure soudainement de surprise parce que j’ai vraiment l’impression que quelqu’un m’a poignardé avec un couteau de l’intérieur du dos. Je me rattrape avant que je me retourne pour attaquer verbalement le délinquant, parce que – vous l’avez deviné! – C’est mon corps qui est le délinquant.
Et il y a des moments où la netteté et la nature prolongée de la douleur me laissent pantelante. J’ai demandé à mon frère, en plaisantant, si j’étais en travail. Mon visage s’est concentré et j’essaie de retenir mes cris, mais souvent je ne peux pas. La douleur crie littéralement de mon corps avec moi qui résonne de sa force.
La douleur de fibromyalgie se manifeste différemment pour chaque personne. Et malheureusement, avec le débat constant sur la nature scientifique de la fibromyalgie, souvent les gens décrivent les symptômes sur les forums de soutien, se demandant désespérément si chaque manifestation de la douleur fait partie de la condition ou autre chose …
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