Je suis tellement malade d’être malade avec la maladie de fibromyalgie

Par: Dr. Heather Morris

Avoir une maladie chronique comme la maladie de la fibromyalgie prend vraiment son péage sur vous, surtout quand vous avez une tonne d’autres choses avec elle comme moi. Il croît et décroît mais il ne disparaît jamais, du moins pas pour moi. En ce moment je dois dire que c’est aussi mauvais que ça l’a jamais été auparavant. Mon niveau de douleur de la fibromyalgie m’a conduit si loin que même mon point de vue positif est la souffrance. Je suis tellement malade d’être malade avec la maladie de fibromyalgie. Mon seul échappatoire est le sommeil que je reçois, mais maintenant la douleur de la maladie de la fibromyalgie est en train de tordre mes rêves et je ne peux même pas y échapper maintenant. Je me réveille si mal que ça me donne envie de crier juste pour bouger. Je suis aussi fatigué quand je me réveille que quand j’étais au lit. Le soulagement semble m’échapper ces jours-ci.

Faites plus d’exercice, c’est ce qu’ils disent. Ils n’ont aucune idée de la difficulté à faire quand chaque mouvement vous donne envie de flancher avec la douleur de la fibromyalgie. Lorsque vous marchez sur une distance quelconque, votre colonne vertébrale se sent comme si elle allait s’effondrer et se désintégrer. Je fais ce que je peux, je marche sur de courtes distances, je fais des élévations dans ma chaise, mais c’est dur. Je souhaite que d’autres pourraient comprendre comment dur. Perdre du poids. J’essaye, je le fais vraiment. Sans être capable d’être aussi actif que nécessaire, c’est une chose très difficile à faire. Je sais que mon poids, qui a été mis après avoir été malade, l’aggrave. Cela aggrave mon image de soi, ce qui n’aide pas du tout les choses. J’aimerais pouvoir le perdre et j’essaye de le faire, mais c’est un processus lent comme je le fais.

Prenez vos médicaments. Je le fais, je le promets, comme ils me l’ont dit, mais ça n’aide pas assez. Je leur ai manqué et j’ai eu la chance de ne pas passer la journée couchée en boule sur le sol, alors je sais qu’ils aident, mais ils ne font pas assez. Il doit y avoir quelque chose là-bas qui va m’aider à retrouver ma vie. Bien sûr, je lutte avec la dépression. Quand il n’y a pas une partie de votre corps qui ne blesse pas tout le temps, vous pourriez aussi être déprimé. Je pense que ceux d’entre nous qui travaillent dans ce domaine sont beaucoup plus forts que ce que les gens nous attribuent.

Je ne peux même pas manger sans éprouver de symptômes. Je mange quelque chose, ça m’envoie courir à la salle de bain. Il n’y a pas un aspect de la vie que la maladie de fibromyalgie ou la série de conditions co-existantes ne touchent pas. Vous l’appelez, il y a un effet néfaste. Les symptômes se nourrissent l’un de l’autre, chacun provoquant l’aggravation des autres. J’essaie de rester positif. Je sais que cela passera et je me sentirai mieux, mais même alors je ne me sentirai pas bien. J’ai mes bons sorts mais même alors il y a toujours la douleur omniprésente de la fibromyalgie, la dépression, les problèmes d’estomac etc. Cependant, il y a de meilleurs moments où je peux faire plus et profiter plus, mais qu’est-ce que je fais en attendant? Je suis fatigué, physiquement, mentalement et émotionnellement. Je perds tout espoir qu’il y ait de bons jours à venir et que l’on puisse trouver un soulagement. Je ne dois pas me laisser aller comme ça, Je dois toujours croire qu’il y a de l’espoir, mais pour le moment c’est dur. Je dois garder la pensée que cela aussi passera. J’espère juste que ça passe vite.

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