Je ne peux pas être la «femme au foyer parfaite» atteinte de fibromyalgie, et c’est bien.

Je dois admettre que j’étais un enfant assez inhabituel. J’ai grandi en regardant des émissions de cuisine, Martha Stewart et “I Love Lucy”. Je rêvais d’être la femme au foyer idéale des années 50 avec une maison impeccable. (Je sais, appelez-moi à l’ancienne, mais je l’ai trouvé amusant). Un jour, je me suis imaginé faire les travaux manuels détaillés pour lesquels Martha Stewart a trouvé le temps. J’ai imaginé cuisiner des plats gastronomiques, du pain fait maison, du beurre frais et encore avoir le temps de coudre, de faire de l’artisanat, de nettoyer et de cultiver un jardin. J’ai rêvé qu’un jour ce serait, eh bien, parfait.

Quand j’ai enfin eu mon grand rêve, j’ai planifié toutes les manières dont j’utiliserais mon temps comme femme au foyer. J’allais garder ma maison impeccable, préparer le dîner tous les soirs et travailler à des bricolages amusants pendant mon temps libre. Enfin, j’allais avoir le temps de faire tous les projets amusants dont j’avais rêvé. J’allais faire de notre maison une maison et j’étais ravi!

Mais ce n’était pas comme je l’avais prévu. (Et honnêtement, j’ai remarqué que ça va!)

Environ un an après mon mariage, j’ai découvert que j’avais la fibromyalgie. J’avais combattu la fatigue et la douleur qui m’avaient empêché de faire la plupart des choses que j’avais planifiées. Je me suis retrouvée la plupart du temps allongée sur mon canapé à regarder la télévision et à rêver de tous les projets que je voulais faire.

Dans mes très bons jours, je me suis poussé au-delà de mes limites et j’ai essayé de faire tout ce qui était sur ma liste. Encore et encore, j’ai trop essayé et j’ai eu très mal à faire quelque chose pendant des semaines. J’étais tellement frustrée que malgré tous mes efforts, mon corps ne cessait de se rendre.

Il n’est pas facile d’accepter que mon corps n’ait pas la force et l’énergie pour suivre mes idéaux. J’ai passé des mois à me sentir coupable, paresseux et inutile. La frustration de me décevoir était probablement le plus gros obstacle à surmonter.

Très souvent, les membres de la communauté des maladies chroniques discutent des difficultés et des frustrations des réactions des autres personnes face à notre maladie. Mais nous nous battons plus que les attentes des autres. Certains jours, nous devons nous battre.


Participer avec la fibromyalgie 
À propos de la fibromyalgie 
Vivre avec la fibromyalgie: et ensuite?

J’ai finalement réalisé que je devais prendre du recul et découvrir ce qui compte vraiment. Mon mari m’a assuré encore et encore que j’étais trop dur avec moi-même, mais il m’a fallu beaucoup de temps pour réaliser qu’il avait raison. Il s’en fiche si notre maison est impeccable; il s’en fiche si nous avons du fast food certaines nuits; il se fiche que certains jours tout ce qu’il a à faire est de se lever du lit. Mes amis n’entrent pas chez moi et ils me jugent parce que ce n’est pas aussi propre que je le pense. La plupart du temps, mes amis et ma famille ne remarquent même pas ce que je considère être la faute la plus frustrante.

Honnêtement, je devais réaliser que je pouvais me tirer d’affaire. Je n’ai pas besoin d’être Martha Stewart. Je n’ai pas besoin d’avoir tout dans ma vie pour être juste parfait. Parfois, nous devons simplement ralentir et profiter de la beauté de la vie, même dans le chaos.

Ma vie n’est pas parfaite Et ça me va

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