Ik ben ziek van ziek zijn

Ik ben het zat om ziek en moe te zijn en weet niet wat ik eraan moet doen. Ik voel mezelf in dat zwarte gat van klinische depressie wegzakken en ik vecht er zo hard over. Ik ben bang om weer zo slecht te worden, ik denk niet dat ik het kan overleven. Ik ben altijd ziek op mijn buik, ik heb altijd pijn en nu ga ik door de terugtrekking van deze verdomde plekken die ik begon te nemen omdat ze verondersteld werden het antwoord te zijn op de pijn en nu zijn ze geworden

meer van het probleem. Als ik alleen ben, is alles wat ik doe huilen. Ik heb niet het gevoel dat ik goed ben voor iemand.

Mijn moeder had een appendicitisaanval en een operatie en ik kon daar niet zijn omdat ik net mijn slaapmedicatie had genomen. Ik ging gisteren een tijdje en bleef zo ​​lang als ik kon. Mijn dochter gaat naar een specialiteitskliniek in Indiannapolis en ik zal voor mijn 3 kleinkinderen zorgen en ze is bang dat ik het niet zal kunnen en stiekem ben ik dat ook, maar ik heb haar verteld dat we allemaal goed voor ons zullen zijn deze.

Ik voel me gewoon zo alleen en schuldig dat ik ziek ben en zo’n last voor iedereen. Ik kijk naar foto’s uit mijn verleden, en ik dacht altijd hoe jong ik eruit zag of hoe dun ik was of hoe mooi ik was en nu kan ik me alles herinneren dat ik toen ik naar dezelfde foto’s keek, was hoe gezond ik was en dat ik pijnvrij en in staat om zoveel te doen en nu kan ik dat niet.

Ik zou naar een psychiater gaan als ik dacht dat ze konden helpen, maar het enige waar ze over willen praten is mijn jeugd en al die rotzooi. Het is niet het verleden waar ik problemen mee heb, het is het nu en de toekomst en ze zien er allebei uit

zo somber. Ik word ook erg depressief in de winter en ik heb het gevoel dat het dit jaar erger is dan ooit. verdrietig

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