Ich kann nicht die “perfekte Hausfrau” mit Fibromyalgie sein, und das ist in Ordnung.

Ich muss zugeben, ich war ein ziemlich ungewöhnliches Kind. Ich bin mit Martha Stewart und “I Love Lucy” aufgewachsen. Ich träumte davon, die ideale Hausfrau der fünfziger Jahre mit einem makellosen Haus zu sein. (Ich weiß, nenn mich altmodisch, aber ich fand es lustig). Eines Tages stellte ich mir vor, ich würde die detaillierten Handarbeiten ausführen, für die Martha Stewart Zeit fand. Ich stellte mir vor, Gourmetgerichte, hausgemachtes Brot und frische Butter zu kochen und noch Zeit zum Nähen, Basteln, Putzen und Pflegen eines Gartens zu haben. Ich träumte, dass es eines Tages perfekt sein würde.

Als ich endlich meinen großen Traum hatte, plante ich alle Möglichkeiten, wie ich meine Zeit als Hausfrau nutzen würde. Ich wollte mein Haus makellos halten, jeden Abend Abendessen kochen und in meiner Freizeit an lustigen Bastelarbeiten arbeiten. Endlich hatte ich Zeit für all die lustigen Projekte, von denen ich geträumt hatte. Ich wollte aus unserem Haus ein Zuhause machen und war begeistert!

Aber es war nicht so, wie ich es geplant hatte. (Und ehrlich gesagt habe ich gemerkt, dass es in Ordnung ist!)

Ungefähr ein Jahr nach meiner Heirat stellte ich fest, dass ich Fibromyalgie hatte. Ich hatte gegen Müdigkeit und Schmerzen gekämpft, die mich davon abgehalten hatten, die meisten Dinge zu tun, die ich geplant hatte. Ich verbrachte die meisten Tage damit, auf meiner Couch zu liegen und fernzusehen und von all den Projekten zu träumen, die ich machen wollte.

In meinen wirklich guten Tagen habe ich mich selbst über meine Grenzen hinausgetrieben und versucht, alle Dinge auf meiner Liste zu tun. Immer wieder habe ich mich zu sehr bemüht und hatte wochenlang große Schmerzen, um etwas zu tun. Ich war so frustriert, dass mein Körper immer nachgab, egal wie sehr ich es versuchte.

Es ist nicht leicht zu akzeptieren, dass mein Körper nicht die Kraft und Energie hat, meinen Idealen zu folgen. Ich habe Monate damit verbracht, mich schuldig, faul und nutzlos zu fühlen. Die Frustration, mich enttäuscht zu haben, war wahrscheinlich das größte Hindernis, das ich überwinden musste.

Sehr oft diskutieren die Mitglieder der Community für chronische Krankheiten über die Schwierigkeiten und Frustrationen, die die Reaktionen anderer auf unsere Krankheit mit sich bringen. Aber wir kämpfen mehr als die Erwartungen anderer. An manchen Tagen müssen wir uns wehren.


Mit Fibromyalgie teilnehmen 
Über Fibromyalgie 
Mit Fibromyalgie leben: Wie geht es weiter?

Endlich wurde mir klar, dass ich einen Schritt zurücktreten und herausfinden muss, worauf es wirklich ankommt. Mein Mann versicherte mir immer wieder, dass ich zu hart für mich selbst sei, aber es dauerte lange, bis mir klar wurde, dass er Recht hatte. Es ist ihm egal, ob unser Haus einwandfrei ist; es ist ihm egal, ob wir an manchen Abenden Fastfood haben; es ist ihm egal, dass er an manchen Tagen nur aus dem Bett kommt. Meine Freunde kommen nicht in mein Haus und beurteilen mich, weil es nicht so sauber ist, wie ich es für richtig halte. Die meiste Zeit bemerken meine Freunde und Familie nicht einmal die Dinge, die ich für meine frustrierendsten Fehler halte.

Ehrlich gesagt musste ich feststellen, dass ich vom Haken kriegen kann. Ich muss nicht Martha Stewart sein. Ich muss nicht alles in meinem Leben haben, um einfach perfekt zu sein. Manchmal müssen wir nur langsamer werden und die Schönheit des Lebens genießen, selbst im Chaos.

Mein Leben ist nicht perfekt. Und damit bin ich einverstanden

161 thoughts on “Ich kann nicht die “perfekte Hausfrau” mit Fibromyalgie sein, und das ist in Ordnung.

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