When you disconnect from the outside world, you are building a reinforced wall around your life to block everything that would hurt you. But what happens if the measures you take to protect yourself are creating more damage? What happens if your wall stops the entry of the positives as much as it stops the negatives?
More importantly, what happens if the greatest danger comes from you? Behind the wall you built, there’s only you and fibromyalgia. Fibro is a substantial opponent even when he only observes the impact on his physical health. But when you also consider the psychological impact of the disease, you face a dangerous adversary.
Fibro and Depression
When they are affected by fibromyalgia and depression, as many are, they begin to see the outside world differently. This is the nature of depression; It makes good things bad and bad things even worse. In addition, it causes people to take illogical and irrational measures in the name of depression. For many people with fibro, depression is not the problem; The problem is what you do to fight depression.
Isolation is the perfect example of this. Depression has convinced you that the people, places and common situations in your world are purely negative.
You start thinking that these things will hurt you if they can, which will make your depression and your fibro symptoms worse. As a reaction, you begin to withdraw behaviorally and emotionally as a survival skill in ways that include:
- Being less motivated to leave home
- Feeling more anxious or worried when leaving the house
- Exchange of invitations from friends or family to meet or attend meetings
- Planning fewer social opportunities for you
- Ignoring the media when they communicate with you
- Seeing only the negative aspects associated with social connections
Sometimes, withdrawing is a normal and healthy behavior, but problems arise when intensity and duration are added to the withdrawal. People who withdraw become people who isolate themselves, which leads to the damaging cycle of depression, isolation and fibro-sprouts. Each influences the other and leads to increasingly negative symptoms.
Each problem has a solution, however. Do you want to maintain or build an active social life while reducing fibro symptoms? That is how:
See the wall
Isolation does not happen quickly; Unless there is a traumatic event that triggers the isolation, it occurs slowly over time.
Maybe his fibro coincided in the days he had plans to visit with friends. By canceling his plans, he was inadvertently building his wall and moving towards isolation. In a short time, the accidental association between fibro and isolation becomes a habit in every rule.
People who are isolated do so for a reason. Although the reason may not make sense, there is a reason.
If you can not find the reason, you can not see the wall for what it is. The original purpose of the wall may have been distorted or exaggerated over time.
Why is your wall there? What did you hope to achieve by building the wall? What factors lead to the wall being erected when it was? Why did not you build the wall before? What actions or reactions make the wall bigger and stronger?
To remove the wall, you must understand what the wall is for. This information will provide a better explanation of the implemented systems that maintain their isolation.
Discard the positives and see the negatives
Isolation will continue as long as you discard the negatives and see the positive aspects of the wall. If you believe that isolation protects you from the unintended consequences of relationships or from the anger and aggression of others, the isolation will continue.
If you think there is nothing positive that comes up with social interactions, there will be no motivation to overcome your current state. The wall will remain.
To end isolation, you should see the alternative viewpoint. This only requires a new perspective and willingness to accept that their perceptions of relationships could be negatively influenced by fibro-related depression.
Remember, depression wants you to be more depressed, so you will unfairly highlight the negative aspects in your life to achieve your goal.
Finally, you should take another look at your past with socialization and isolation.
- Make a list of people with whom you are interested in having relationships with separated people in family, friends and co-workers
- Make a list of the positive aspects achieved through the social relationship
- Make a list of the opportunities that were lost due to your social isolation
- Make a list of future opportunities that will be lost if your isolation continues
This list begins to undo the isolation by focusing more on the good that comes with socialization.
Knock down the wall
Using lists to emphasize the positive aspects of being social and the negative aspects of isolation is valuable, but it is not enough alone. To really tear down the wall, you must actively involve other people in your life.
By making phone calls, visiting friends and increasing online contact, you begin to recover the skills necessary to maintain good relationships.
At this point, many people research their available supports but can not see many options. A prolonged period of isolation will alienate others as they were not getting the level of reciprocity necessary to enjoy the relationship.
This makes the act of breaking down the wall even more challenging because it will have to go beyond their standard behaviors to amend relationships. You will have to really convince others that the relationship will be different this time.
Consider starting the reconnection with an apology. You may feel uncomfortable, but it will be very useful to achieve your goals.
Isolation is a self-imposed prison that does more to keep out of good than what it does to avoid bad. With the influence of depression, isolation is a natural component of fibromyalgia.
It becomes your task to avoid attracting isolation before it can begin. If it is too late for prevention, you should inspect and destroy the wall in its place. Only when the wall is low, can you get rid of the insulation.