Fibromyalgi Litt etter litt dreper den som skulle bli livet mitt

Fibromyalgi dræper langsomt meg. Ta deler av meg, min styrke, min stolthet og min sjel. 

Diagnosen av fibromyalgi er dødsdom, for det var en gang et normalt liv. Jeg har bodd med dette i syv år, og jeg har fortsatt ikke ferdig med det jeg hadde planlagt, jeg burde nå forberede meg til å studere et år i utlandet. 

Jeg burde snakke flytende på et annet språk. Jeg skal ha en bakrus hver søndag etter å ha overnattet med venner. I stedet ligger jeg i seng, hele dagen, hver dag. Eller jeg blir på sofaen. Jeg går til andres hus og ligger på sengen eller på hans sofa. Fibromyalgi er en archenemy, sjalu. 

Han prøver alltid å beseire meg. Det er som skurken i en gammel, stille film. I stedet for publikum å vite at skurken er der og hovedpersonen ikke skjønner, i dette tilfellet kan jeg bare se det og publikum er blind.

Det er som om min fysiske og følelsesmessige styrke var sammensatt av små chips. Hvert bakslag tar en vekk fra meg. Jeg vet ikke hvor lenge det vil være før alt i meg faller sammen. 

Fibromyalgi har fjernet grunnlaget. Grunnene som jeg bygde i over tjue år, levde livet mitt. Jeg føler meg som et  spill av Jenga , hver gang fibromyalgi slår meg ,  går jeg et skritt nærmere å falle til bakken. 

Kanskje jeg allerede har krasjet og truffet. Kanskje jeg er i bakgrunnen. Hvis jeg ikke visste hva denne tilstanden er, vil jeg si at det er sannsynligvis der. Dette er det laveste jeg tror det kan være. Jeg kunne oppleve den verste smerten jeg noen gang har hatt, og min fibromyalgi behandler det som en utfordring fordi jeg vet neste gang det blir verre. 

Noen utbrudd er bedre enn andre, men de tester min fysiske og følelsesmessige styrke, mer enn jeg kunne ha forestilt meg tidligere. Fibromyalgi er ikke en fantasifull unnskyldning. Jeg ville aldri ha valgt dette livet for meg selv, og hvis jeg hadde muligheten til å kvitte seg med demonen som opprettholder meg, ville jeg gjøre det uten å nøle. Dette er mitt liv

Dette er ekte. Dette er meg, er og vil være med meg på hvert øyeblikk av dagen, for resten av livet mitt. Djevelen hvisket i går i øret mitt “Du er ikke sterk nok til å utholde stormen” I dag hvisket jeg i djevelets øret “Jeg er stormen” Jeg er en kriger av fibromyalgi. Jessica stredd pudicombe 

Også, det er netter som dette, der jeg føler meg fortapt. Mistet i følelser, i tanker, i smerte og i hva som kommer. Vi forstår helt opp og ned av følelsene våre, lykkelige et minutt, så sint, så trist, så nervøst, så etc., etc. Det er en berg-og dalbane av opp og nedturer.

Legg til andre kroniske sykdommer og det er helvete! Mann, kvinne, byrden av kronisk sykdom bringer vår verden ned. Noen ganger føler vi at ting er under kontroll. Vi har inngått en avtale med vår virkelighet, vi vet at ting aldri vil være hva de var, og vi tilpasser og lærer å leve med hva livet vårt har blitt. 

Men noen ganger, realiteten av det som kommer, åpner og overvinter livet vårt. Vi vet at livet vårt, som vi visste det, aldri vil være det samme. Livet som vi en gang likte, er blitt ødelagt av denne onde kraften som dikterer hva vi gjør, og hva vi ikke kan gjøre. Det er gode dager og dårlige dager, høyder, nedturer, høyder og nedturer. 

Vi pleide å se og planlegge for fremtiden, eller leve i nåtiden med de vi elsker. Nå, hva består det av? I ingenting! Planene vi har laget med venner, vel, kanskje det er en annen gang. Festen med familien vår, vel, og gi min hilsen. 

Å lage planer er som et hvilket som helst spill på messen, det er uforutsigbart. Vi ønsker mer enn noe å være en del av alle planene som er gjort, men vi kan ikke garantere noe. Vi vil virkelig være med i hva våre familier gjør, vi vil kunne lage planer og følge dem. Vi ønsker å jobbe, vi ønsker å forlate, vi ønsker å være en del av verden som vi en gang var involvert i. Noen ganger må vi si nei, ta et skritt tilbake, og respekter hva våre kropper forteller oss. 

Vi kan si nei, ikke i dag. Andre ganger vil vi si ja, vi vil fortsette med planene, vi prøver å være en del av livet, for en gang kan vi i det minste forestille oss og si at det var morsomt, det var flott å forlate. Men i morgen skjer det. Kroppene våre sier at du tenkte? 

Livet som vi en gang visste, er så forskjellig fra det vi trodde det ville være. Vi prøver virkelig å opprettholde et visst utseende av hva vi tror det kan være. Men ingen, ingen er forberedt på dette livet som vi lever. Vi vil fortsette å prøve å holde planene vi har laget, men vær så snill, ikke bli sint eller dømme oss, hvis de endres.

Vi sliter med å opprettholde et “normalt” liv, som er tatt fra oss. Hva har vi igjen? Fra nå av er alt vi kan gjøre, være positiv, ydmyk, og fremfor alt, være tålmodig med oss ​​selv. Ta litt tid på oss, ta deg tid til å sørge med oss, ta deg tid til å reflektere, ta litt tid til å lære med oss, hva er vår nye normalitet. Og fremfor alt, ta et minutt å fokusere på oss selv, hva som fungerer for oss og hva som gjør oss lykkelige. Lær å leve denne nye eksistensen, lær å sette pris på hva vi fortsatt kan leve og elske hver dag. Ta det en dag av gangen, leve dag til dag, time for time eller minutt for minutt.

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  222. Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and
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