Soy una mujer fuerte con fibromialgia

Solo porque pueda hacerlo, no significa que no deba hacerlo. Solo porque puedo hacerlo, no significa que no duela. Solo porque puedo hacerlo, no significa que no lo pagaré más tarde.

Un boceto de una mujer flexionando sus bíceps.

Soy una mujer fuerte Soy una mujer fuerte con fibromialgia. Hice ballet durante 16 años hasta que cuatro cirugías de rodilla me dejaron al margen. Desarrollé músculos que ni siquiera existen en los cuerpos de la mayoría de las personas. No he bailado durante años, pero esos músculos todavía están allí. No hago ejercicio y, de hecho, tengo sobrepeso y no estoy en forma. Ya era así cuando me diagnosticaron artritis psoriásica y fibromialgia.

A veces tengo que caminar con un bastón. Muchas veces no puedo levantar cosas, o sé que me dolerá si lo hago, así que elijo no hacerlo. Pero sigo siendo fuerte y, a veces, tengo ganas de flexionar esos músculos.

Hoy mi esposo y yo estábamos limpiando la casa. Se ha desordenado mucho, pero en este fin de semana festivo, estamos aprovechando la oportunidad para reorganizarnos y arreglarnos. He trabajado muy duro y tengo mucho dolor. Me he sentado con dos almohadillas térmicas que se extienden a lo largo de mi columna vertebral, a través de mis hombros y cuello.

Todavía estoy participando en la tarea haciendo sugerencias y haciendo pequeñas cosas aquí y allá. Mi esposo movió una cómoda a través de la habitación, y lo vi moverse en su lugar dejando la alfombra sobresaliendo. Mientras estaba ocupada con la siguiente tarea, sabía que la alfombra me iba a molestar. En lugar de molestar a mi marido, quería estirar mis proverbiales piernas. Caminé por la habitación, levanté la pesada cómoda y arreglé la alfombra debajo.

Mi esposo se rió y comentó (de buen humor): “¡Tal vez no necesites esos paquetes de calor!”

El arrepentimiento me invade cuando sacudo la cabeza y vuelvo a mi silla.

“Confía en mí, lo hago”.

Incluso el hombre que ve mis fortalezas y debilidades, a menudo más claramente que yo, no siempre comprende la naturaleza de la fibromialgia.

Soy fuerte. La mayoría de las veces ya no puedo usar esa fuerza y, si lo hago, pago las consecuencias. Pero cuando lo hago, solo porque lo hago, no significa que no deba hacerlo. No significa que no duela. No significa que no lo pagaré más tarde. Esa es la naturaleza de la fibromialgia. Siempre estará allí, incluso cuando parece que no lo está.


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