8 choses à se rappeler si vous aimer quelqu’un avec une douleur chronique

La douleur chronique est une condition qui nous fait grincer des dents, n’est-ce-pas? Imaginez être une personne qui souffre de douleur pour plus de 3 mois. Nous savons aussi qu’il y a plusieurs conditions qui causent la douleur chronique telles que des problèmes au dos, de l’arthrite, des migraines et ainsi de suite. C’est triste mais on ne parle pas beaucoup au sujet de comment courant peut être cette condition.

Malheureusement, c’est extrêmement commun. Plus de 25 millions de personnes souffrent de douleur chronique aux États-Unis mais une discussion sur ces problèmes passe sous le radar. La douleur chronique n’est pas seulement physique — c’est un parcours émotionnel. Si vous aimez quelqu’un qui souffre de douleur chronique, vous allez probablement avoir à accommonder leur situation  selon le besoin.

Derrière la sensation de douleur, il y a 8 raisons pourquoi ils souffrent plus que vous pensez.

  1. La douleur chronique est invisible

À peu près 96% des maladies sont invisibles ça veut dire qu’elles n’ont pas de signes externes qui pointent vers une canne ou une chaise roulante. Après l’avoir gérer pendant tant de temps, ils ne grimacent plus ou ne pleurent plus à chaque fois qu’ils ont de la douleur. C’est possible d’avoir l’air parfaitement en santé malgré les douleurs.

C’est facile de l’ignorer comme une invalidité simplement parce qu’on ne la voit pas. Ainsi leurs problèmes peuvent être sujet aux déclarations telles que “simplement bats-toi” lesquels sont méprisantes. La douleur chronique n’est pas comme un rhume ou même une jambe cassée.

2. Elle mène à la dépression

25% à  75% des personnes avec de la douleur chronique expérimentent une dépression modérée à sévère. Ceci, en plus d’être en douleur fréquente veut dire que c’est normal de se retirer et d’arrêter les activités engageantes à tous les jours. Elle met de la pression sur les relations avec les amis et la famille ce qui en retour diminue leur qualité de vie encore plus. C’est un cycle vicieux qui affecte même l’efficacité du traitement de la douleur.

Comme Rachel Benner dit, “C’est important pour eux d’incorporer la structure, les activités, la socialisation, le but et le sens de chaque journée dans leur vie.”

3. Ils ne savent pas comment le tout a débuté

C’est possible d’avoir de la douleur sans un début clair ou une blessure qui semble avoir apparut de nulle part. Avoir une raison pour une blessure est aidant — vous pouvez être plus prudent la prochaine fois. Plus important, il fournit une conclusion. Sans raison, la douleur prolongée devient complètement dénué de sens et semble comme une malchance terrible.

La malchance devrait manquer l’autobus pour travailler. Pas des années de douleur.

Souffrir sans raison crée des questions qui demandent des réponses. Cependant deux réponses: soit elle n’existe pas ou soit elle demande un très long temps pour découvrir. Les deux possibilités ont des effets négatifs sur leur humeur.

4. Ils ne savent pas si ça va finir

Spécialement si la personne est jeune, ceci cause des quantités incroyables de désespoir. Ils commencent à se demander s’ils peuvent faire face à être en douleur pour les prochaines 10, 20, ou 30 ans.

Voici le coup dûr – il est possible de ne pas avoir de fin. C’est possible qu’ils pourraient avoir à souffrir de la douleur pour le reste de leur vie et ceci devient plus réel pour eux le plus longtemps que ça dure.

5. Ils se blâment

Il y a une explication pour s’être habitué à la douleur un peu de la même façon que quelqu’un s’habitue à marcher avec une canne. C’est facile de s’auto-critiquer pour ne pas être capable de faire certaines choses que vous étiez habitué de faire disons avec des amis ou terminer un travail en temps. Quelquefois, ils vont vouloir combattre la douleur et s’ils échouent, ils vont se blâmer pour ne pas travailler assez fort. Ceci peut mener à une haine de soi-même et à des sentiments de culpabilité parce qu’ils ne peuvent pas vivre comme leurs amis et la famille.

Vivre la même vie que les autres n’est pas possible quand vous souffrez de la douleur chronique. La tentative de l’essayer crée un poids aggravant dont ils se sentent coupables.

6. Ils ne font pas une montagne d’un rien

Les personnes souvent sous estiment la douleur chronique. En combinaison avec la douleur chronique une maladie invisible, ils peuvent souvent entendre la phrase ‘vous n’avez pas l’air malade’ sous-entendant ‘ça ne peut pas être aussi pire’.

Nous avons tous eu de la douleur mais c’est surprenant d’imaginer à avoir de la douleur qui dure pratiquement tous les jours. Il peut être tentant d’essayer de les motiver en utilisant un discours de motivation mais il peut résulter en culpabilité légère laquelle peut être incroyablement démotivante. C’est important de ne pas utiliser des lignes désinvoltes comme ‘vous allez passer au travers de ça’ parce que ça vous éloigne du problème et isole ceux avec la douleur chronique.

7. C’est épuisant

La douleur chronique demande beaucoup d’énergie. C’est comme avoir quatre pneus crevés et la moitié d’un réservoir de gaz et ensuite commencer un voyage d’un bout du pays à l’autre.

Chaque activité à partir de sortir du lit à laver la vaisselle, à attendre l’autobus prend une quantité d’énergie significative. Ayant comme résultat, qu’ils peuvent avoir à canceller les plans et finir la journée tôt. Aimer quelqu’un avec une douleur chronique veut dire leur donner un certain laisser aller ou planifier plus des événements détendus avec eux.

8. Ils apprécient votre support

Souffrir de douleur chronique peut faire sentir seul et sans espoir. La relation entre une personne et leur douleur est dynamique. Elle peut changer d’empathie à frustration à désespoir au fil du temps. Ces changements sur la perspective de la vie et leur douleur sont difficiles à gérer et spécialement s’ils deviennent rongés avec la frustration. Les changements sont uniques pour chaque personne alors il n’y a pas d’approche telle qu’un remède unique pour tout le monde.

Comme vous pouvez voir, la douleur chronique est aussi émotionnelle que physique. Avoir une personne qui simplement écoute et essaie de son mieux à comprendre peut rendre la vie pas mal plus facile.

Une amie qui soutient n’a pas de prix.

Votre support est énormément précieux.

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