Met fibromyalgie kan ik niet vooruit plannen … maar ik kan ook niet spontaan zijn

De meeste mensen die mij kennen weten dat ik de spontaniteit niet zo goed doe. Niet omdat het niet helemaal cool en interessant is, maar omdat alles doen of ergens naartoe gaan veel tijd en organisatie vereist.

Als je me bijvoorbeeld ‘s ochtends een sms stuurt en je me vraagt ​​of ik je wil ontmoeten voor de lunch (ik kan niet opstaan ​​en op tijd vertrekken voor het ontbijt), dan zou ik moeten overwegen hoe lang het zou duren om op te staan ​​en na mijn ‘s morgens medicijnen, bereken de tijd om te douchen en dan te rusten (dat wil zeggen, ik zal moeten rusten na het baden en aankleden, evenals vele andere intervallen gedurende de dag). Dan zal ik moeten zien of ik daartoe in staat ben en ontdekken of het voldoende dichtbij is, zodat ik zo snel mogelijk thuis kan komen als dat nodig is.

Andere dingen waar ik aan moet denken zijn: breng medicijnen en een fles water mee, als het dichtbij genoeg is om geen gebruik te maken van de reis, als er openbaar vervoer is naar de plaats waar we elkaar ontmoeten, als ik mijn stok of mijn rollator nodig heb en als ik nodig heb iemand komt met mij mee Dan zou ik moeten weten hoe lang ik eruit zou zijn, of er zitplaatsen zijn, niet te veel stappen, toegang tot liften en roltrappen, te veel lawaai of te veel knipperende of felle lichten, als de vloeren plat of ongelijk zijn en als ik iets te doen heb als ik terugkom ( want ik zal zeker te gek en te moe zijn om te koken of af te wassen of eigenlijk iets anders doen dan naar bed gaan). Ook zo erg als het lijkt,

Een hele lijst, toch? Zozeer zelfs dat ik denk dat hij is uit gegaan om te lunchen en naar huis gaat om zijn diner te koken voordat hij heeft besloten of hij de niet-geplande uitnodiging die hij vriendelijk aan mij heeft gedaan wil accepteren. Denk alsjeblieft niet dat ik niet erg dankbaar ben dat je geeft en tijd met me wilt doorbrengen, dat is helemaal niet het geval. Ik zou graag springen en wegrennen zodra ik je oproep of bericht ontvang, mijn lichaam zal het niet toestaan.

Dan, dus gewoon leest, zul je vergeven worden om aan te nemen dat het beter is voor mij om vooruit te plannen vergaderingen, uitstapjes en bezoeken, enz. Fout! Fibromyalgie is een ongemakkelijk schepsel dat nooit blij met me is, ongeacht wat ik doe. Als het een persoon, zou ik moeten scheiden voor het maken van mijn leven is zo vol van pijn en moeite en, meestal, zijn wreed en onredelijk! Helaas weigert hij zijn meest indrukwekkende faciliteiten te verlaten en daarom blijf ik achter, als een indringer die nooit weggaat.

Dus dit is de kwestie van vooruit plannen van fibromyalgie: ik weet nooit hoe ik me van minuut tot minuut zal voelen, dus zelfs als we onze verwachte lunchdatum weken van tevoren plannen, is er nog steeds een grote kans dat je moet annuleren in jou op elk moment totdat het aankomt. Het spijt me, ik weet dat je me echt wilt zien omdat ik best cool ben en zo, maar of ik het leuk vind of niet, de fibro is altijd de baas. En hij is bazig!

Om te proberen onze vergadering gepland te houden, moet ik nog steeds de enorme lijst met mogelijke problemen in overweging nemen en beslissen of ik alles kan regelen. Ik beloof dat ik geen excuses maak of probeer je te vermijden, en ik vind het jammer dat mijn chronische pijn en vermoeidheid me zo’n onderhoudsvriendelijke persoon in je leven maken. Ik wil niet boven alles zijn, ik waardeer het dat je ondanks alles toch dicht bij me wilt blijven, want in de loop van de jaren hebben veel mensen me in de steek gelaten en dat doet zeer. Weet dat als ik het zie, of zelfs probeer het te zien, dat betekent dat je belangrijk voor me bent. Of dat je me geld schuldig bent. Grapje, ik heb er geen, want mijn fibro laat me niet meer werken.

Dus daar heb je het. Het kan niet spontaan zijn en het kan niet van tevoren plannen! Dat maakt me tenminste al ongrijpbaar en mysterieus, toch?

Right? OK dan, ik ga voor een leugen. Liefde verzenden

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