Fibromialgia – El diablo en mi hombro

Poco a poco, el fibro me mata. Me toma pedazos, mi fuerza, mi orgullo y mi alma. Un diagnóstico de fibromialgia es una sentencia de muerte para una vida normal. Viví con ella durante siete años y todavía tengo el luto por la vida que debería haber tenido. Debería prepararme para estudiar un año en el extranjero ahora. Debería hablar otro idioma con fluidez. Debería tener resaca todos los domingos después de pasar una noche con amigos.

En cambio, me acuesto todo el día. O acuéstate en el sofá. O voy a la casa de otra persona y me acuesto o me acuesto. Fibro es un enemigo jurado, un amigo celoso. Él siempre está ahí, siempre tratando de llevarme en cada ocasión. Es como el chico malo en una vieja película muda. Es un hombre con un bigote bizco, un suéter a rayas y una capa que se desliza con humor detrás de mí, quien piensa que esconderse detrás de una rama de un árbol lo hace invisible.

Pero de nuevo, es lo contrario. 
En lugar de público, sabiendo que el villano está ahí y el protagonista está inconsciente, solo puedo verlo y mi público es ciego. Fibrosis para mi fuerza física y emocional. Cada contratiempo me trae un poco. No sé cuánto durará hasta que todo se desmorone. Fibro ha quitado mis cimientos.

Las bases que he construido durante veinte años en esta tierra. Me siento parte de Jenga, cada vez que el fibro ataca, me acerco al suelo. Tal vez ya he caído y quemado. Tal vez sea el fondo de la piedra. Si no supiera qué es la fibra, diría que probablemente sea así. Es lo menos que puedo ser, o lo más bajo que creo que podría ser. Pero no puedo confiar tanto en esa maldición.

Podía sentir el peor dolor que he tenido y mi fibroblasto es un desafío porque la próxima vez será peor. Algunos brotes son mejores que otros, pero otros ponen a prueba mi fuerza física y emocional más de lo que podría haber imaginado antes. La fibromialgia no es una excusa imaginaria.

Nunca hubiera elegido esta vida para mí y si tuviera la oportunidad de liberarme del demonio que me retenía, lo haría sin dudarlo. Es mi vida. Es real. Soy yo y estará conmigo en todo momento del día por el resto de mi vida.

El diablo 

le susurró al oído 

“No eres lo suficientemente fuerte como para resistir la tormenta” 

Hoy, susurré al oído del diablo. 

“Yo soy la tormenta” 

Soy un guerrero de la fibromialgia.

Rollromaster Fibromyalgia: Soul Search – ¿Dónde puedo ir ahora?

Jessica Stredd Pudicombe Plus, hay noches como esta noche en las que me siento perdido. Perdido en la emoción, perdido en el pensamiento, perdido en el dolor y perdido en lo que le espera. Para aquellas mujeres, entendemos perfectamente los altibajos de nuestras emociones, felices por un minuto, luego enojadas, luego tristes, luego nerviosas, etc. Son muchos altibajos. Agregue a las enfermedades crónicas y al infierno, ¡¿a dónde vamos desde allí? Hombre, mujer, la carga de las enfermedades crónicas está trastornando nuestro mundo. A veces sentimos que las cosas están bajo control. Hemos aceptado nuestra realidad, sabemos que las cosas nunca serán lo que eran y nos adaptamos y aprendemos a vivir con nuestras vidas. Pero a veces la realidad de lo que nos espera a veces supera nuestra realidad.

La vida que una vez conocimos había sido destruida por esta fuerza maligna que determina lo que hacemos y no podemos hacer. Interrumpe el estado emocional que esperábamos tener con esta nueva vida. Hay días buenos y malos, altas y bajas, altas y bajas. Vimos el futuro y el plan para el futuro o vivimos en el presente con los que amamos. Ahora, ¿qué es consistente? Nada! Los planes que hemos hecho con amigos, tal vez en otra ocasión. La fiesta con nuestra familia, bueno, voy a dar todos mis saludos. Hacer planes es como el juego objetivo en el show. Queremos más que nada ser parte de cada proyecto que se ha realizado, pero no podemos garantizar nada.

Realmente queremos ser parte de nuestros proyectos familiares, queremos poder implementar proyectos y respetarlos. Queremos trabajar, queremos salir, queremos ser parte del mundo en el que hemos estado involucrados.

A veces podemos decir que no, dar un paso atrás y respetar lo que nuestros cuerpos nos dicen. Solo podemos decir, no, no hoy. Otras veces, digamos sí, seguimos los planes, tratamos de ser parte de la vida, por una vez, al menos podemos fingir y decir que fue divertido, que fue agradable salir. Pero el mañana se acerca. Nuestros cuerpos dicen ¿qué pensaste? La vida que una vez conocimos era tan diferente de lo que pensábamos. Realmente estamos tratando de mantener una apariencia de lo que pensamos que podrían ser las cosas. Pero nadie, nadie podría prepararse para esta vida que vivimos. Continuaremos intentando mantener los planes que hemos hecho, pero no exaltaremos ni juzgaremos si cambian.

Estamos luchando para mantener una vida “normal”, pero se ha eliminado bajo nuestros pies. ¿Qué queda? A partir de ahí, todo lo que podemos hacer es ser positivos, ser humildes y, sobre todo, ser pacientes con nosotros mismos. Tómese el tiempo para nosotros, tómese el tiempo para llorar, tómese el tiempo para pensar, tómese el tiempo para aprender nuestra nueva normalidad. Y lo más importante, tómate un minuto para centrarte en lo que funciona para nosotros y lo que nos hace felices. Aprende a vivir esta nueva vida, aprende a apreciar lo que aún podemos vivir y amar cada día. Tómelo un día a la vez, en vivo de un día a otro, de una hora a otra o de un minuto a otro. ¡Abraza lo que tienes y aprende a vivir y amar la vida como puedas! alma

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