Estoy tan enfermo de estar enfermo

Estoy tan cansado de estar enfermo y cansado y no saber qué hacer al respecto. Siento que me estoy deslizando en ese agujero negro de la depresión clínica y estoy peleando con tanta fuerza. Tengo miedo de volver a ponerme mal, no creo que pueda sobrevivir. Siempre estoy enfermo en mi estómago, siempre estoy sufriendo y ahora me estoy retirando de estos malditos parches que comencé a tomar porque se suponía que eran la respuesta al dolor y ahora se han vuelto

más del problema. Cuando estoy solo, todo lo que hago es llorar. No siento que soy bueno para nadie.

Mi madre tuvo un ataque de apendicitis y una cirugía y no pude estar allí porque acababa de tomar mis medicamentos para dormir. Fui por un tiempo ayer y me quedé todo lo que pude. Mi hija irá a una clínica de especialidades en Indianápolis y cuidaré de mis 3 nietos y está preocupada de que no pueda y en secreto también lo soy, pero le dije que entre todos nosotros podremos manejarlo. esta.

Me siento tan solo y culpable por estar enfermo y como una carga para todos. Miro imágenes de mi pasado, y solía pensar en lo joven que era o lo delgada que era o lo bonita que solía ser y ahora todo lo que puedo recordar cuando veo las mismas imágenes es lo saludable que estaba y estaba sin dolor y capaz de hacer mucho y ahora no puedo.

Me gustaría ir a un psiquiatra si pensé que podrían ayudar, pero de lo único que quieren hablar es de mi infancia y toda esa porquería. No es el pasado con el que estoy teniendo problemas, es el ahora y el futuro y ambos se ven

muy sombrío. También me deprimo mucho en el invierno y siento que es peor este año que nunca. Triste


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