Lo que es dormir cuando tienes fibromialgia

Por: Jules Bonds

Para cualquier persona con fibromialgia, hay tantos síntomas diferentes que pueden afectar tu vida y afectan tu vida. Para mí, la falta de sueño es mi enemigo número uno. Puedo estar tan cansado todo el día, mirando sin miramientos la pantalla de una computadora o incapaz de mantenerme enfocado en mi camino a casa desde el trabajo; sin embargo, cuando de veras me acuesto por la noche, mis ojos están completamente despiertos y mi cerebro se pone en marcha. Me revuelco como un pez fuera del agua, tratando de encontrar un lugar cómodo. Incluso con un colchón nuevo, hay noches en las que siento que estoy durmiendo en una cama de rocas. Me duele la espalda, aunque duermo con dos almohadas debajo de las rodillas para mantener la columna vertebral en una posición neutral. Mi cuello y hombros se hacen nudos, a pesar de que duermo sobre una almohada ortopédica. Dios no quiera que me dé la vuelta y duerma de mi lado. Siento que tengo alfileres y agujas atravesando mis caderas. Ellos palpitan y se ponen rígidos y algunos días, los huesos sienten que van a perforar la carne. Y no olvidemos mis pies, porque también duelen.

Pensarías que pasé la noche luchando con gladiadores de la misma manera en que me despierto. Estoy atontado, irritable, rígido, músculos con esa sensación de “agobio” como si estuviera arrastrando bolsas de arena y algunas mañanas, me despierto con dolor de cabeza. Una gran manera de comenzar el día, ¿no crees?

Luego, para colmo de males, escucho constantemente a la gente decirme que me veo cansado. Oh, aquí está mi favorito: “Te ves delicado hoy”. ¿Delicado? ¿Qué diablos se supone que significa eso? Por supuesto que me veo cansado; Estoy cansado. Creo que es difícil para las personas entender cómo podría ir a la cama a las 10 p. M., Despertarme a las 6 a. M. Y tener sueño. ¡Por eso son ocho horas! ¡Debería descansar, relajarme y estar listo para partir! Lo que no entienden es sueño profundo. Este es el sueño que restaura y repara su cuerpo; el sueño que te da energía para comenzar un nuevo día; ¡el sueño que necesito desesperadamente pero que no puedo obtener! Fue solo cuando comencé a rastrear mi sueño con un Fit Bit realmente vi cuán poco sueño profundo estaba obteniendo. En este momento, en promedio, tengo de dos a tres horas de sueño profundo. Así que dime, si solo tienes dos horas y media o tres horas de sueño profundo cada noche durante meses y meses seguidos, ¿no te verías cansado también? ¿No te sentirías cansado también?

Desearía poder ser sincero con todas las personas que me preguntan “¿Cómo están hoy?” Y darles la respuesta que necesitan escuchar: “Estoy cansado. Si de nuevo. No dormí bien. Estoy fatigado Me estoy quedando sin nada. Pero bueno, ¡gracias por preguntar! “. Sin embargo, la mayoría de las veces me resulta más fácil decir” estoy bien “y continuar. Me reservo mi respuesta real para los pocos a los que creo que realmente les importa mi respuesta. No solo están preguntando porque es educado. Puedo verlo en sus ojos. Ellos realmente quieren saber. A estos pocos, te agradezco. Definitivamente no es fácil compartir sentimientos íntimos y difíciles con alguien, especialmente cuando te estás preguntando si incluso te creen o si están pensando que eres solo una gran y adinerada reina del drama, buscando atención. Es aún más difícil cuando es difícil articular tus palabras porque, por falta de sueño, las palabras en su cerebro sienten que tienen que atravesar obstáculos de pista y campo para salir de su boca. Esta es otra razón por la cual, a veces, es más fácil permanecer callado.

Supongo que lo que quiero que entiendan las personas sin fibromialgia o problemas para dormir es esto: no asuman que duermo bien por la noche. No asumas que soy perezoso porque duermo dos horas después de llegar a casa después de trabajar cuatro. Estoy cansado, en el verdadero sentido de la palabra. No estoy fingiendo. No estoy siendo dramático. Tengo una condición de honestidad que afecta severamente mi capacidad de dormir profundamente todas las noches. Algunos días, mi agotamiento y mi frustración son tan malos que me dan ganas de llorar o reír como una loca. No hay una hierba mágica que remedie mi problema. Una vacación de dos semanas no hará que mi fibromialgia desaparezca mágicamente. Esta es mi nueva realidad. Por favor, no me juzgues o me hagas sentir peor de lo que ya me siento solo.

Entonces, a todos mis colegas luchadores de fibro que lidian con las dificultades de descansar bien por la noche … Conozco tu dolor. Sé tu frustración. Por favor espera! Les deseo a todos ustedes tantas buenas noches como sea posible.

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