When you have fibromyalgia, your life changes. It takes a 360 degree turn and nothing is the same again. Having this disease, I had to first abandon everything I ever had or could do.
The biggest problem you face is that you no longer have the energy to do practically nothing and that’s when you start to stop doing everything you could and loved to do.
And then there comes a time when you’re losing everything. First you lose your health … then the rest comes. I had to stop studying, I left a music group where I was,
I stopped going out and therefore when my friends invited me to go somewhere I always had to cancel them because I felt bad and then I lost my friends, I lost the freedom to move or go where I wanted, I lost the opportunity to work, I had to leave the university,
my goals and some dreams, I left the guitar lessons, and right now I fight not to lose what keeps me a bit sane, which is playing guitar, singing and reading (which I love doing with all my heart), but I have to Leave for long periods and it is painful, it hurts, it hurts a lot.
I have an incredible partner who has been with me for a while and many times I get fear or more than fear, fear that I may also lose him, and there comes a time when you even lose yourself.
And that’s when fear starts, a fear that consumes you daily. In which you want to do things but your body does not respond and you still cling to hope, you give yourself courage to do what you want.
But then you risk, you start trying … and what happens? YOU CAN NOT DO IT! And you get frustrated, you get angry, and you’re afraid to try it one more time.
Now I am at home, I spend most of my time in my room, I can not help my parents in the house, I break my head thinking that a 21-year-old woman can not work or study, because the Fatigue and fatigue is disabling. Fibromyalgia is the worst prison, yet I do not want to give up ever.
Having Fibromyalgia is a constant of struggles.