FIBROMYALGIA: Ik doe niet alsof ik ziek ben, ik beweer eigenlijk dat het goed gaat

Als je me niet goed genoeg kent of als je deel uitmaakt van mijn familie, is het mogelijk dat je bij sommige gelegenheden bent gaan denken dat ik doe alsof ik ziek ben.

Misschien denk je dat je niet voortdurend moe kunt worden of dat het onmogelijk is voor iemand om met constante pijn te leven en ik wou dat dat het geval was en ik, net als veel andere mensen, het niet bij de eerste persoon had ervaren, deed alsof het goed was voor onze familie en kennissen,

die beweert dat het goed is om elke dag naar het werk te gaan, zelfs een brutale marteling en we kunnen maar half aan onze verplichtingen voldoen gezwollen pillen en pijnstillers, ons moeilijk slepen als we eindelijk thuis zijn, niet kunnen bewegen of de intense en onuitstaanbare pijn en een zware uitputting waar we nooit van herstellen.

Maar ondanks alles heb ik geen andere keuze dan te doen alsof ik gezond was.

Het is veel gemakkelijker om te doen alsof en probeer me duidelijk te maken dat het goed gaat, want op die manier hoef ik me niet te verdedigen. Ik hoef iemand niet uit te leggen dat leven in constante en constante pijn mogelijk is.

Noch moet ik terugkeren om symptomen op te sommen aan iemand die geen interesse voelt. Ik hoef geen onverbiddelijke vermoeidheid te rechtvaardigen. Ik hoef niet uit te leggen waarom ik niet eerder naar de sportschool of het zwembad ga. Ik wil in orde zijn, maar dat ben ik niet.

Ik begrijp niet zo goed waarom ik vind dat ik moet doen alsof het goed is, terwijl het tegenovergestelde het geval is. Waarom is de mening van anderen zo belangrijk? Waarom kan het mij niet schelen wat ze denken?

Ik ben moe, erg moe van het proberen uit te leggen hoe ik echt ben, ik heb het aan familie en vrienden uitgelegd die mijn dagelijkse realiteit niet hebben begrepen, ik heb zelfs artsen verteld die me met ongeloof hebben aangekeken en me dat hebben verteld wat ik vertel Het is niet mogelijk dat ik de symptomen vererger.

Een paar ja, godzijdank maar niet de meerderheid en misschien daarom heb ik geweldige vaardigheden ontwikkeld als acteur in een rol die ik nooit heb gevraagd om me aan te raken.

Het is gek, maar soms voel ik me een crimineel die voortdurend wordt beoordeeld door mensen die niets over mij of mijn leven weten en voor deze wereld is het het beste om te doen alsof mensen die je nauwelijks kennen of van je weten, je niet beginnen met advies over wat je zou moeten doen zonder het minste idee te hebben of te geloven dat je beter dan mij weet hoe ik ben en wat mij beïnvloedt of niet.

Zelfs als het me kost, probeer ik altijd aardig te zijn als iemand me vraagt ​​hoe het met me gaat. Dat is een vraag die me soms bijna doet barsten van woede omdat ik de waarheid niet kan vertellen, maar ik houd me terug en probeer het onderwerp af te leiden of probeer het te regelen met een kort “Ik ben in orde”.

Ik zou kunnen zeggen “vandaag heb ik zonder hulp uit bed kunnen komen” of “ik heb een paar dagen iets beters gedaan als de pijn me een pauze geeft” of “deze week is een hel want ik ga door een crisis “,

Maar dit zou ertoe leiden dat ik mijn staat opnieuw moet rechtvaardigen, dat ik moet uitleggen waarom ik me zo voel, en ik zal het waarschijnlijk niet geloven, dus het antwoord is nooit de waarheid.

Ik zou willen ophouden met doen alsof ik me goed voel en mijn ware staat tonen, ik zou graag willen dat degenen die mij vragen dat doen met een echte interesse in mijn staat en niet zien of luisteren zoals anderen vermoeden dat ik lieg als ik hen vertel welke Het is mijn echte staat.

Heb je de behoefte om te doen alsof je in orde bent als het niet zo is? Wil je dat veranderen?

Als het nuttig was, reageer en deel. Gacias! 🙂

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